RT @kolchak Tomorrow, at 2:30 pm local time, let's all walk into our banks and yell "FUCKING HONKIES" and knock all their pens on the floor
— louisehaynes #13748351258 on May 10, 2010
This isn't 2001, yet I still settle important life decisions by "Ip dip dog shit fucking bastard juicy tit you are not it." #generalelection
— louisehaynes #13087921628 on April 29, 2010
@comedyfish Fuck the game. I'm getting my name changed by deed-poll to Ima penis flytrap vaginamite pumpum the 3rd.
— louisehaynes #13068496109 on April 29, 2010
@comedyfish Fuck the game. I'm getting my name changed my deed-poll to Ima penis flytrap vaginamite pumpum the 3rd.
— louisehaynes #13068421833 on April 29, 2010
@gurl You're so fucking good you made me want to tell a jew i'd circumcise him with my pussy. Hero status with that shit.
— louisehaynes #12907958921 on April 26, 2010
Let's pester Japan to make novelty Earthworm Jim porn, because they haven't given us enough disturbing shit yet.
— louisehaynes #12903411555 on April 26, 2010
Fuck you IKEA. If I can't weigh my tits on these food preparation scales, then i'm taking my business elsewhere.
— louisehaynes #12781030521 on April 24, 2010
Irate clowns who turn up to parties drunk then proceed to call Daddy a cunt, are basically me without a novelty neon afro.
— louisehaynes #12593969037 on April 21, 2010
RT @heiditron3000: If "Furry Vengeance" isn't about a bunch of dudes in cartoon Fox costumes hate-fucking Brendan Fraser, then I give up on cinema.
— louisehaynes #12393346483 on April 18, 2010
Recreated an 18-30 holiday in my back garden, by lying in a pool of my own sick and fucking every man who looks at me over the fence.
— louisehaynes #12061995863 on April 12, 2010
How do I stop whoever keeps hacking me on here and posting inane bollocks? Apart from putting a bullet in their skull?
— louisehaynes #11955480080 on April 10, 2010
@FUERTESKNIGHT All the missed Sherbet Dip Dab sugar comas/shoplifting trips to Tammys. My mothers womb can fuck off for not housing us both.
— louisehaynes #11668766787 on April 5, 2010
Bitches aint shit, because my dogs are constipated.
— louisehaynes #11658737373 on April 5, 2010
Whenever I have an urge to see someone fuck a cabbage, goat or hollowed out hairdryer, I go on chatroulette.
— louisehaynes #11387530915 on March 31, 2010
The messiah of racially ambiguous aggressive bitches who enjoy seriously damaging people and telling cunt jokes has returned: @FUERTESKNIGHT
— louisehaynes #11367345907 on March 31, 2010
If God hadn't wanted us to say cunt, he wouldn't have created Lindsay Lohan.
— louisehaynes #11270110748 on March 29, 2010
RT @RonnieWK: Took my dog to the pound today. Not to leave him there, just to let him know that I'm not fucking around.
— louisehaynes #11244869010 on March 29, 2010
There's a down syndrome woman on this train staring at me like I've just thrown a fucking hedgehog at her face. Awkward.
— louisehaynes #10924989324 on March 23, 2010
Catdog is proof that if you go against nature and interbreed, God will fuck you up.
— louisehaynes #10341298370 on March 11, 2010
@plaid_lemur You're lying to yourself placing me in 'some-good-stuff' You don't even follow me. Put me in 'substandard-shit' instead.
— louisehaynes #10190646410 on March 8, 2010
Sometimes I like to pretend I don't speak English so people will fuck off and leave me alone.
— louisehaynes #10185607631 on March 8, 2010
Twitter morphed into the equivalent of shoving your dogs nose in it's own mess so it learns not to shit on the carpet again.
— louisehaynes #9592132365 on February 24, 2010
@fifibrown On one hand he looks like he'd tie you to a radiator & do bad things to you with a chicken drumstick. On the other hand, fuck yes
— louisehaynes #3989291051 on September 14, 2009
@TheFatJew It's my dream for you to teach me naked yoga in a public environment. Lets get our butterfly stretch on you sexy jewish fucker
— louisehaynes #3924073478 on September 11, 2009
@Mellowx10 The glockenspiel bitch is back? Tell her to get a hysterectomy or jahg ahn fur ya leave hur fi dead ya si me.
— louisehaynes #3924042335 on September 11, 2009
@DamierD As if I just mentioned that. Erm...I wouldn't know. I'm a classy bitch.
— louisehaynes #3719921403 on September 2, 2009
@marty_party Run out of shit to say. Wait till I start injecting lambrini into my arm with a syringe, taking meth & hating the world again.
— louisehaynes #3719856855 on September 2, 2009
You better roll this car over to KFC. Tranny needs some chicken bitch http://bit.ly/aqrtJ
— louisehaynes #3719408100 on September 2, 2009
@BreY_ Remember seeing a pre-pubescent hoodrat doing the chicken noodle soup dance whilst ordering KFC. I'm bringing that shit back
— louisehaynes #3698517192 on September 1, 2009
@GIRLUNIT Best shit ever. 'Cut the crap, Mr. Peabody. Either Junior goes or you find yourself some new nuns'
— louisehaynes #3686933297 on September 1, 2009
@OhFelicia Beastiality? Someone once showed me a man getting fucked by a horse. I cried. I'm glad you think im as funny as that
— louisehaynes #3533112300 on August 25, 2009
@BreY_ @DamierD Werewolfy bastard with a bulbous nose posing on a leopard skin rug? That shit is SO going in my wankbank.
— louisehaynes #3511178447 on August 24, 2009
@BreY_ @Damier Werewolfy bastard with a bulbous nose posing on a leopard skin rug? That shit is SO going in my wankbank.
— louisehaynes #3511168051 on August 24, 2009
Tranny wants some chicken bitch http://bit.ly/aqrtJ
— louisehaynes #3371595174 on August 17, 2009
@Mellowx10 You know i'm in my element when I become mildly racist towards eastern europeans who fuck me over for a pina colada.
— louisehaynes #3317878927 on August 14, 2009
@Mellowx10 You know i'm in my element when I become mildly racist towards eastern europeans who fuck me over for a pina colada.
— louisehaynes #3317254230 on August 14, 2009
Reason 23762 for loving @speakz: "I swear I can hear you in your thickest blackcent saying "fuck up blud you cant touch my wabs"
— louisehaynes #3316687661 on August 14, 2009
@laurainprint Lets just say any old bitch who leaves hers unattended whilst she buys pastys in Greggs will be minus one. (Dont judge me)
— louisehaynes #3311513835 on August 14, 2009
@Mellowx10 Of course but be aware that I have no make up on & look like a meth addict. Getting my bronze on an shit.
— louisehaynes #3206783794 on August 9, 2009
@Mellowx10 Of course but be aware that I have no make up on & look like a meth addict. Getting my tan on an shit.
— louisehaynes #3206780419 on August 9, 2009
@fuertesknight Amen gurl (Or Awomen) Just recite Move bitch to them until they fuck off and leave you alone.
— louisehaynes #3206738373 on August 9, 2009
@BreY_ They were novelty snoopy oven mitts as well. Fuck off I'm class personified.
— louisehaynes #3199342244 on August 8, 2009
@j3nnag You are such a boss bitch for the Pum Tang Clan love on the blog.
— louisehaynes #3171009624 on August 6, 2009
I should fuck off more often
— louisehaynes #3170764748 on August 6, 2009
@BreY_ I sometimes like to don a full length kat slater body suit and scream "You aint my muffar" at people. I live the fucking dream.
— louisehaynes #2895539093 on July 28, 2009
Doing fuck all for race relations in beefa. Unless knocking back sangria and doing bad things to Pablo in a hammock at 3am counts.
— louisehaynes #2710239013 on July 18, 2009
Channel 4 can fuck off showing little white boys rancid cocks. I'm trying to eat a fucking nutri grain here.
— louisehaynes #2537100086 on July 8, 2009
@DjYasmin Shut the fuck UP. Was there legging clingage ? Please tell me there was. You'll ruin her enigma if there wasn't
— louisehaynes #2504064095 on July 6, 2009
@speakz Donde esta mi pimp papa? Don't tell me you've fucked off & joined another shovel-wielding racist mexican gang again
— louisehaynes #2435286952 on July 2, 2009
