@shittyDJ Dude, chill the fuck out. I'm working on it.
— LadyMissKate #5640355194 1 week ago
Wow, the drunk texts I sent Halloween night all read like one long Hallmark card. Who the fuck spiked my drinks with Prozac?
— LadyMissKate #5370425930 3 weeks ago
And don't get me started on McCarver. He's like the au jus to Joe Buck's shit sandwich.
— LadyMissKate #5277557205 3 weeks ago
Holy shit. Montell Jordan was right. This IS how we do it!
— LadyMissKate #5135992511 on October 24, 2009
Blowing up the moon, because America hasn't fucked up enough shit yet.
— LadyMissKate #4733644348 on October 9, 2009
Fuck flying cars. I want a burrito delivery service. Future, you have failed me once again.
— LadyMissKate #4610213232 on October 4, 2009
I regret learning French. Should've studied a useful language, like the one these bitches at the nail salon are using to talk shit about me.
— LadyMissKate #4324643538 on September 23, 2009
Don't tell Tuesday, but I'm totally plotting to take it down and make it my bitch.
— LadyMissKate #4172702804 on September 22, 2009
Just figuring out this bitter thing. Fuck today.
— LadyMissKate #4033091782 on September 16, 2009
It's a special kind of "fuck you" to wake up to the cat peeing on your legs.
— LadyMissKate #4029939116 on September 16, 2009
Hey, I just added you to my Shit List. You should accept my invitation! :) Click here: http://enoughwiththemafiafamilyinvitesalready.com
— LadyMissKate #3991442287 on September 14, 2009
Hey, I just added you to my Shit List. You should accept my invitation! :) Click here: http://enoughwiththemafiafamilyinvitesalready.com...
— LadyMissKate #3991418165 on September 14, 2009
Being an English gentleman must be great. You can say the crassest shit & everyone thinks you're a terrible genius. Tally-ho, UK, tally-ho.
— LadyMissKate #3984720486 on September 14, 2009
I don't think I've ever been this excited for a shit show!
— LadyMissKate #3972319661 on September 13, 2009
@DadsUpLate Oh shit, NO!!
— LadyMissKate #3969532108 on September 13, 2009
Hey, Joe Wilson. Shut the fuck up when the adults are talking. Also, thanks. You just showed what you Republicans are made of; BULLSHIT.
— LadyMissKate #3890220083 on September 10, 2009
Hey, Joe Wilson. Shut the fuck up when the adults are talking. Also, thanks. You just showed what you Republicans are made of: BULLSHIT.
— LadyMissKate #3890168644 on September 10, 2009
Pimpin' ain't easy. No, seriously. My palm is sore from bitch slappin' dem hoes all day, and don't get me started on how heavy the cup is.
— LadyMissKate #3833193175 on September 7, 2009
Holy shit, just did a keg stand for the first time in years. And here I thought I didn't remember anything I'd learned in high school!
— LadyMissKate #3811378866 on September 6, 2009
FUCK YEAH MARINA SUB FOR BREAKFAST. Take that society!
— LadyMissKate #3802046592 on September 6, 2009
@eljeYES FUCK YEAH TRUE BLOOD
— LadyMissKate #3502752269 on August 23, 2009
@sweatsinthecity Seriously. Talk about a shit show. Excellent reminder of why I never go to things like that. Forgot why. Never again.
— LadyMissKate #3492158155 on August 23, 2009
It's barely 9:30 and I think I'm gonna go to bed. 31 is the new when the fuck did I get so old.
— LadyMissKate #3398959469 on August 18, 2009
Sometimes I read through my stream of tweets and think, it's true, bitches ain't shit but hoes & tricks.
— LadyMissKate #3367298820 on August 17, 2009
Oh my gawd, it is almost 8 pm. I said I wouldn't do shit today, and I didn't! Pretty sure this is the only time I made plans that stuck.
— LadyMissKate #3338111493 on August 15, 2009
If your "blog" is on myspace, I'll laugh at you. It's just that I can smell the lol from here. Shit went bad years ago. Even Tom says so.
— LadyMissKate #3335620128 on August 15, 2009
@twoname I know I count mine the next morning. "Oh fuck, did I tweet?? No? Thank gawd."
— LadyMissKate #3332401764 on August 15, 2009
"It's like grandma always said... fuck it!"
— LadyMissKate #3330753536 on August 15, 2009
My boss let me go early thereby making this The Best Friday EVER. I'm so elated it makes me wanna go rob a liquor store or some shit.
— LadyMissKate #3317030011 on August 14, 2009
I'm about to appreciate the shit outta this burrito.
— LadyMissKate #3300749162 on August 13, 2009
Getting a massive zit right on the tip of my nose is mother nature's way of keeping my ego in check. Thanks bitch. Message received.
— LadyMissKate #3148535444 on August 5, 2009
Oh shit. R.I.P. Baatin of Slum Village. A sad day for music. Hip hop has lost another talented son.
— LadyMissKate #3072982125 on August 1, 2009
It's impossible for me to sleep past 6 a.m. regardless of how much I drank or how late I was up. My internal clock is a spiteful bitch.
— LadyMissKate #2837545866 on July 25, 2009
It's impossible for me to sleep past 6 am regardless of how much I drank or how late I was up. My internal clock is a spiteful bitch.
— LadyMissKate #2837528312 on July 25, 2009
Swear to gawd, if I have to suffer through one more dropped call on my cell, I'm throwing this fucker in the toilet & getting a pager.
— LadyMissKate #2825566869 on July 24, 2009
Somehow, ghost ridin' the whip while bumping a book on tape didn't scream, "I'm a hardcore gangsta bitch!" the way I had hoped it would.
— LadyMissKate #2823224574 on July 24, 2009
Babysitting this cat has given me a glimpse of the kind of mom I'll be; doting, devoted, & a raging bitch when woken up at 5 in the morning.
— LadyMissKate #2797837399 on July 23, 2009
@jim_rock Yeah, well I'm playing the shit out of some Zelda on my NES. Seriously.
— LadyMissKate #2683677354 on July 17, 2009
HOLY SHIT!!!! HE DID IT!!! NO HITTER FOR SANCHEZ!!!!!!!! #sfgiants
— LadyMissKate #2579556196 on July 10, 2009
Thanks to this sunburn, I am repping the shit out of The Niners right now.
— LadyMissKate #2484788978 on July 5, 2009
I have a new follower named @imfollowingyou. No shit, sherlock.
— LadyMissKate #2454164384 on July 3, 2009
Because shit's been in my head all day... ♫ http://blip.fm/~98gbs
— LadyMissKate #2430786440 on July 1, 2009
I seriously need to learn the art of shutting the fuck up sometimes.
— LadyMissKate #2383848576 on June 29, 2009
This bus is like it's own gay pride parade unto itself. I may just ride this bitch all day just to see how nuts it'll get.
— LadyMissKate #2374757583 on June 28, 2009
Can I put "Whistling the shit out of Guns N' Roses 'Patience'" on a resume? That's a thing, right? Who cares. I rule at it either way.
— LadyMissKate #2352597242 on June 26, 2009
Best part of camera the day after? None of the crazy shit is on there. Worst part? *say it with me kids* NONE OF THE CRAZY SHIT IS ON THERE!
— LadyMissKate #2350065098 on June 26, 2009
@benmarvin Fuck yo' couch, nigga!
— LadyMissKate #2349885717 on June 26, 2009
Follow @perezhilton, because that bitch is dying for attention. #followfuckheads
— LadyMissKate #2349486910 on June 26, 2009
MJ dies & I'm PMSing hardcore. BAD TIMING. Sensitivity gene at red alert. Must center myself. Go make me a sammich bitch! Nope, not ready
— LadyMissKate #2347373356 on June 26, 2009
