This day goes down as The One With All The Massive Fucking Restraint.
— jamievaron #10582530752 4 days ago
I just washed down Ibuprofen with wine. Bitch wine. Um. This has to signify a problem.
— jamievaron #10300528574 1 week ago
Um, YEAH SO @MODGinurface sent us a case of Bitch wine. Like, WHAT. Like, OMFG. THIS IS A LOT OF WINE. BUT YAY!
— jamievaron #10239708291 2 weeks ago
I mean, yeah, I'm drinking a bottle of wine out of ONE FUCKING GLASS. Sorry, mom.
— jamievaron #10103175262 2 weeks ago
@gradster1 Oh, no. I have plenty. Fucking neverending supply, to be exact. #notbitter
— jamievaron #9906436696 3 weeks ago
Well, shit, at least I'm not the only one facing dating frustrations in this goddamn city. http://bit.ly/9bIQIL #validationFTW
— jamievaron #9902596954 3 weeks ago
So, basically, I've become terribly unoriginal because all I ever want to tweet about these days is John Mayer & Girl Talk. Fucking boring.
— jamievaron #9892347688 3 weeks ago
This day needs a lot less annoying shit and a lot more whiskey.
— jamievaron #8927633174 on February 10, 2010
Does your day suck? Do you need to dance that shit out? Ok, fine, here: http://bit.ly/9iZyiA You're welcome.
— jamievaron #8879311603 on February 9, 2010
@michaelgbarclay Well, fuck, THERE ISN'T.
— jamievaron #8842620247 on February 8, 2010
Ill timing is a fickle, fickle bitch.
— jamievaron #8840474151 on February 8, 2010
I mean, this is an oldie but a goodie and IT NEVER GETS OLD. Fucking kangaroos. http://bit.ly/90Ran
— jamievaron #8798567709 on February 7, 2010
Or, fuck, QOTD.
— jamievaron #8746240707 on February 6, 2010
New twitter bg digs. Shit's gettin' real up in the Nicole and Jamie household.
— jamievaron #8706152754 on February 5, 2010
@norcross Today has been fucking splendid. Just really fucking awesome. — Phew. Yeah, I *do* feel better.
— jamievaron #8660368962 on February 4, 2010
Anyone else think the LOST writers are really just a bunch of guys on LSD who are fucking with us? BECAUSE I DO.
— jamievaron #8613570566 on February 3, 2010
Well, you know it has been a long week when the word "boner" makes you laugh uncontrollably. Also. There is fucking whiskey in my future.
— jamievaron #8568390381 on February 2, 2010
Apparently, according to my little brother, I'm going to be single forever because I curse a lot. Welp. Fuck it.
— jamievaron #8534964227 on February 2, 2010
@Alysson Oh, shit. I didn't even realize I did that. WHAT HAVE I DONE!
— jamievaron #8170704550 on January 24, 2010
RT @nicoleisbetter: OUR SNUGGIES ARE HERE! Huge thanks to @whatsourcessay for fucking MAILING US SNUGGIES http://tweetphoto.com/9115245
— jamievaron #7971280839 on January 19, 2010
I'd like to know why anybody wants me to RT their shit in order to make them donate more to Haiti. Do it or don't. It's not about PR.
— jamievaron #7772918302 on January 14, 2010
So. Indecisive. About. Everything. I keep repeating: this is only a test. Except, WHERE THE HELL IS THE CHEAT SHEET?! SHIT.
— jamievaron #6970795813 on December 23, 2009
@cmciampa Yes, still in London. Some girl dissed me the other night by saying it was practically illegal to not wear heels after 7pm. Bitch.
— jamievaron #6497801334 on December 9, 2009
@LisaBarone I'm DM failing left and right these days. Don't even DM me anymore, Lisa. I'm gonna fuck it up for both of us.
— jamievaron #6348079501 on December 4, 2009
Listening to Sexy Bitch by David Guetta (& Akon) and drinking vodka. It's Friday. And my French friend Camille & I are GOING OUT.
— jamievaron #5901641334 on November 20, 2009
Twitter: Change my avatar to my new one or I'm going to be forced to stop payi... oh, wait, this is free? Uh. Shit.
— jamievaron #5434305136 on November 4, 2009
@LisaBarone Put those ladies on Skype... I'll translate for you. Or just make up shit, whichever comes first.
— jamievaron #4452699060 on September 28, 2009
"When MS sans serif wins you know it's a shitty day." -@jayzombie #fonthumor
— jamievaron #3990228721 on September 14, 2009
Uh, is Gmail having issues today? Or, is the Airport on my new MB Pro just shitty? Lame either way.
— jamievaron #3235061829 on August 10, 2009
@scottdot Whatev, her daughter has a bastard child, she quit being governor & she's divorcing. But she preaches AGAINST these things!
— jamievaron #3075828708 on August 1, 2009
@ryanlrussell Oh, shit. That came out wrong. I meant, I need legal friends to hang out with!
— jamievaron #2938038853 on July 30, 2009
@LisaBarone Oh there's no way I'm not getting a scar. This shit is deep. Mad deep, yo. Not quite sure what I'm saying anymore. Don't mind me
— jamievaron #2724162813 on July 19, 2009
OH: "I only have hot friends. It's a fucking radar like skill."
— jamievaron #2712055896 on July 18, 2009
@drnelk It wasn't supposed to be racy! Shit. I can't really see in my car...
— jamievaron #2698010376 on July 17, 2009
@mwinters58 It's freaking fantastic. BUT, it's another issue of designing for Firefox, but having your site look like shit in IE.
— jamievaron #2636277742 on July 14, 2009
Today, officially, shit's gettin' real. And I like it. #vague
— jamievaron #2499842158 on July 6, 2009
@LisaBarone I fucking love how everyone will know who you're talking about based solely on our hashtags.
— jamievaron #2463599238 on July 3, 2009
Not that I'm drunk. I mean. What? Shit.
— jamievaron #2463286591 on July 3, 2009
Margaritas and beer. Celebrating independence. Or some shit like that.
— jamievaron #2462321370 on July 3, 2009
Thanks to @LisaBarone, I am now listening to "Don't Let Me Stop You" by Kelly Clarkson on repeat. Fucking anthem, FTW.
— jamievaron #2458268289 on July 3, 2009
@dmcii Oh, no, you're right. I just totally outed myself of having a pre-existing condition. Shit.
— jamievaron #2440995093 on July 2, 2009
@CynthiaLaLuna Carpal tunnel? Shit. That's no good.
— jamievaron #2440939118 on July 2, 2009
WHY IS MY LEFT PINKY NUMB!? ALL THE TIME!? WHY!? Holy shit. I'm starting to get worried AND I DON'T HAVE HEALTH INSURANCE. Shit.
— jamievaron #2440161874 on July 2, 2009
This program I spent an ungodly amount of money on keeps crashing, so ADOBE PHOTOSHOP, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER PLEASE.
— jamievaron #2426577313 on July 1, 2009
My friends are wearing suits to the movie tonight. Which is adorable. So, I'm guessing this tshirt & jeans I'm wearing is a no go? Shit.
— jamievaron #2415997584 on July 1, 2009
I'm at Starbucks and now my car won't start. Fucking great.
— jamievaron #2407711926 on June 30, 2009
The latest episode of True Blood was so fucking good OMG amazing! So good that it no longer requires the use of commas when describing it.
— jamievaron #2364687866 on June 27, 2009
Wow, this wine isn't even giving me a night to enjoy it before it gives me a fucking headache. Screw you, too, alcohol.
— jamievaron #2291019491 on June 23, 2009
I just missed someone WAY more than I should miss them. Shit. Fuck. Shit. #unexpectedness #vaguetweet #shhhhh
— jamievaron #2290582254 on June 23, 2009
