Yay. It's that time of month again when I fucking cry watching a Folgers coffee commercial. #thankshormones
— emilylewis #18485022140 3 weeks ago
@supersloth Yep. $200 worth of fucking awesome here :|
— emilylewis #18481604668 3 weeks ago
This day has completely gotten away from me :( Turning my frustration to exercise before I break shit.
— emilylewis #17976082010 3 weeks ago
Sometimes I feel sorry for the egomaniacs I know...Someone must've treated you like shit in high school for you to act like such a douchebag
— emilylewis #17614154448 on July 2, 2010
@ozinn Agreed. And for me, health insurance companies who deny me coverage now that I'm a freelancer. I wish face-fucking monkeys on them
— emilylewis #17445333820 on June 30, 2010
Fuck me and my inability to DM...
— emilylewis #17441009269 on June 30, 2010
It's moth season in #ABQ. This fucker has a 3-inch wingspan...at least http://flic.kr/p/8arZ2t
— emilylewis #16193355694 on June 14, 2010
So apparently I can catch more flies with honey than vinegar ... Who the fuck wants to catch flies?
— emilylewis #16185523037 on June 14, 2010
Happiness is eating a sushi dinner and when the conversation shifts to a new freelance project, realizing I can write this shit off :D
— emilylewis #15667194643 on June 7, 2010
Have a permanent shit-eating grin thanks to the dude who just told me he loves my book :D #eeci
— emilylewis #15233625983 on June 2, 2010
@masuga say fuck it then come have a drink and convo at knuckles
— emilylewis #15084874589 on May 30, 2010
I love #EngineHosting for a multitude of reasons...not the least of which is how fucking awesome @nevinlyne and @princesslaurie are. #eeci
— emilylewis #15024736960 on May 30, 2010
Pleased that the "I'm now freelance and, therefore, on a budget" hotel isn't too shitty. #ivestayedinworse
— emilylewis #14962388150 on May 29, 2010
RT @jalbertbowdenii: Non-Standards based development isn't really my cup of tea. Mainly bc i don't like pieces of shit in my tea.
— emilylewis #14841315777 on May 27, 2010
On work mornings, @jnakai wakes up and quips "time to make the donuts." This morning: "fucking donuts...stupid donuts" :D
— emilylewis #14763111537 on May 26, 2010
@cdharrison Those buggers scare the shit out of me. They are all over the place here in Albuquerque.
— emilylewis #14245881632 on May 18, 2010
@drywall "Working" as in "Getting Shit Done" ... blog posts, portfolio redesign, resume updating, blah, blah ...
— emilylewis #13080559220 on April 29, 2010
Sitting on the trunk of my car being blasted with cold wind when I should instead be at a much needed chiropractor appointment. #fuck
— emilylewis #12718470594 on April 23, 2010
Dear YouTube, Like and dislike aren't enough. I need a "what the fuck" option ... http://bit.ly/r0J2F
— emilylewis #12654596773 on April 22, 2010
Trying not to freak out about bad news I got about my back...renewing my hate for the uninsured motherfucker who rear-ended me 8 yrs ago.
— emilylewis #12310665537 on April 16, 2010
VPN problems + hours on phone w/ support desk + hours trying to get someone else to do their job + conf calls = me not getting shit done :/
— emilylewis #11830614564 on April 8, 2010
Holy fuck that hurt more than my previous 15 tattoo sessions. I will never get ink on my ribs again.
— emilylewis #11341604625 on March 30, 2010
@kyleridolfo Nah. It's all mine ... And why the fuck are you not here? When will I meet you!
— emilylewis #10553078250 on March 15, 2010
OMG. Traffic makes me want to cut a bitch.
— emilylewis #10487025710 on March 14, 2010
And, after that last tweet, stuck pondering what the fuck pudding has to do with anything. #hashtagabuse
— emilylewis #10408520875 on March 12, 2010
OH: It just makes me want to shit & I know it's gonna burn...This is the height of stupidity for me - @jnakai after @oneupabq wing challenge
— emilylewis #9961084760 on March 3, 2010
@jalbertbowdenii I'm forming a haters club. Our motto is suck it (AKA if you don't like it, don't show up and leave me the fuck alone)
— emilylewis #9248162477 on February 17, 2010
@jnakai It was Jersey. She was freaking the fuck out about Misha this AM. Had to put her in the bedroom alone. All is calm ... for now.
— emilylewis #9021115977 on February 12, 2010
Oh My Fucking God!!! #geauxsaints
— emilylewis #8791863792 on February 7, 2010
Happy hour approacheth ... feels more like thank-god-this-fucking-day-is-over hour.
— emilylewis #8255766560 on January 26, 2010
How many people does it take to write really shitty web copy? Apparently 20. #killmenow
— emilylewis #8254186065 on January 26, 2010
I should really reconsider my chosen profession, because I just cooked the most fucking delicious chicken and brussel sprouts EVER.
— emilylewis #7931570485 on January 18, 2010
OH: "You only said 'shit' once and 'crap' twice." - @jnakai on my workshop
— emilylewis #7810911213 on January 15, 2010
@cdharrison get that shit fixed ASAP. When I was a homeowner, same thing happened and I couldn't get a pro for a day. $3k and a day later...
— emilylewis #7387659259 on January 4, 2010
@gryffyn red. Totally red ;) Or the vomitrocious green all over the shitty-ass work crap I have to deal with.
— emilylewis #6877781872 on December 20, 2009
Every minute I spend fixing the HTML & CSS done by the fucker my employer outsourced design to, I want to out him on Twitter. But I'm a lady
— emilylewis #6708091438 on December 15, 2009
How can I be expected to complete my annual self assessment for work, when "I fucking rock" isn't an option?
— emilylewis #6058962761 on November 25, 2009
Lots of NM folks here. Pimping the shit out of @Webuquerque.
— emilylewis #5813057342 on November 17, 2009
My Magic 8-Ball informs me that signs point to oh shit ...
— emilylewis #5049089403 on October 21, 2009
Dear fellow Cirque O show-goer: Take ur complaints 2 the Suck It Office, cuz I could give a shit that u can't see past my seated 5'5" frame
— emilylewis #3752404019 on September 4, 2009
And it is Douchebagpalooza ... Holy shit ... Is this where the WalMart rejects come to die? #imnotallthatbutseriously?
— emilylewis #3748535479 on September 3, 2009
Wondering how much beer I owe @cdharrison for pimping my shit ;)
— emilylewis #3582603246 on August 27, 2009
@kyleridolfo bubble bubble gurgle ... *internal thought: I hate you, you evil bitch* ... Had a "special" relationship with me mum.
— emilylewis #3504818226 on August 23, 2009
Today, I felt like the star of a movie titled "Fuck Floats or: How I Learned to Stop Hacking and Love Position"
— emilylewis #3296713810 on August 13, 2009
Only have about 15% more to finish in my latest chapter. But 0% motivation + 0% inspiration + 100% apathy = not getting shit done :(
— emilylewis #3131878297 on August 4, 2009
Internet outage AGAIN. It was bad enough as a weekly event...now it's daily. C'mon Comcast. Get your shit together.
— emilylewis #2876795907 on July 27, 2009
@mirevj Thank you so much for joining me! Best motivation ever. We'll have to do stuff like that more often. I feel fucking awesome now :)
— emilylewis #2711039117 on July 18, 2009
@danrubin Depends on if the person is a douchebag. In those cases, I like Twat as well as Tweetard. For the non-dbags, I go w/ Twitterer ;)
— emilylewis #2659647526 on July 15, 2009
Of course there are now problems setting up my Storm. Have to go in to Verizon store tomorrow. Fuck that motherfucker who stole my phone.
— emilylewis #2624220239 on July 13, 2009
