Today is going to be a complete fucking shitshow nightmare. SERENITY NOW!
— R_Claw #5479893725 2 weeks ago
Totally just fucked up going to my cle. And just happen to be by shake shack so getting some grub to take home! :-). I'm gonna be fat soon.
— R_Claw #5375666112 3 weeks ago
My work emails generally end with: "Please let me know whether you have any further questions." This is code for: "Go fuck yourself."
— R_Claw #4743666826 on October 9, 2009
Holy SOG! I'm coming down with a fucking cold!!! Ugh.
— R_Claw #4497674401 on September 30, 2009
@justinderekrich Shit, I was wearing a dress with a blue plaid skirt yesterday. That means it's official, I guess///?
— R_Claw #3667336363 on August 31, 2009
It's funny because this shit happens yo! Ta ta SOG. http://bit.ly/5molu
— R_Claw #3416701419 on August 19, 2009
How the hell is it 7:45 pm already? Shit.
— R_Claw #3415976385 on August 19, 2009
Forgot my fucking camera. Ugh. Blackberry this cuteness?
— R_Claw #3316240520 on August 14, 2009
The bitch is crazy man.
— R_Claw #3151740947 on August 5, 2009
Woot, I'm a Junior's Size 2. Whatever that means? Whatevs I need some cheering up today, fuck it I'm going to get a hot dawg.
— R_Claw #2655334760 on July 15, 2009
Fuck yeah it does bitches: http://bit.ly/XmAPL
— R_Claw #2617439824 on July 13, 2009
Shit, cannot get anything done today, brain fried from exhausting week. Legal research is boring the crap outta me right now [serious tweet]
— R_Claw #2571632071 on July 10, 2009
I shit you not I almost just got assaulted by a drunk on the street, I literally ducked out of the way of his meaty paw touching my head.
— R_Claw #2539673448 on July 8, 2009
Doughnut plant purchase making me feel better about my shitty day.
— R_Claw #2522093915 on July 7, 2009
I swear like an "Enthusiastic Porn Star": http://cursebird.com/R_Claw. Fuck yeah bitches, and fitting.
— R_Claw #2392277245 on June 29, 2009
It's a fact: the MTV show "16 & Pregnant" will depress the fuck out of you. For all involved.
— R_Claw #2387186450 on June 29, 2009
Fuck it, I'm going to get a hot dog.
— R_Claw #2317938914 on June 24, 2009
@justinderekrich Holy crap, you're right, wtf is wrong with me. Oh, right, I'm so fucking busy here, why am I on TWITTER ?!?!?!?
— R_Claw #2311368664 on June 24, 2009
Holy shit: it's warm out, not raining and I'm sitting and having coffee in the park! :-)
— R_Claw #2266790677 on June 21, 2009
The dress I'm wearing today always makes me feel like I'm naked...(looks down)...oh shit!
— R_Claw #2237803148 on June 19, 2009
It's no suprise to me I am my own worst enemy 'Cause every now and then I kick the living shit out of me...moving on, nothing to see here :)
— R_Claw #2104392631 on June 10, 2009
Fuck it, I'm going to get a hot dog.
— R_Claw #2094941820 on June 9, 2009
Shit y'all - it's National Donut dayB. Get a free one at Dunkin (with purchase of a beverage of course)
— R_Claw #2042482900 on June 5, 2009
I haven't eaten yet today, fuckity fuck fuck. Nothings, wrong, just wanted to say that. What's my damage?
— R_Claw #2031349190 on June 4, 2009
That sucked and I just fucking missed the ferry back!
— R_Claw #2030237076 on June 4, 2009
@JanenePo No, I saw those "strawberries" or whateve they actually are, the shit was still pinker than a newborn's ass though.
— R_Claw #2004555746 on June 2, 2009
Self Diagnosis of the Day: Diet soda makes me a stark raving foaming at the mouth bitch. Must remember this next time I reach for it.
— R_Claw #1994857202 on June 1, 2009
Fuck it, I'm going to get a hot dog. Quote of the weekend.
— R_Claw #1971482795 on May 30, 2009
Holy shit it's 2:30 I have something due tomorrow, and I'm lolly-internet-gagging (why does that sound like I'm watching porn?)!!!
— R_Claw #1950110740 on May 28, 2009
Fuck Yes: http://bit.ly/gwmRt
— R_Claw #1923990813 on May 26, 2009
Exit 69 is Big Beaver Rd. I shit you not.
— R_Claw #1905001163 on May 24, 2009
Just not in the mood today for the woman outside my office, she doesn't shut the fuck up, like ever, about nonsense. Cranky? Probs.
— R_Claw #1884169286 on May 22, 2009
Dear job, Internet legal research is a vital aspect of my job. Get better fucking internet access that doesn't die every 5 minutes!!!!!
— R_Claw #1847834745 on May 19, 2009
Holy sog the airport's a fucking mess
— R_Claw #1709358929 on May 5, 2009
Holy fuck, I just cried at a fancy bar. FAIL. Oh and I hate u.
— R_Claw #1675348565 on May 1, 2009
Line at Subway was hella long y'all. It's a recession, bitch.
— R_Claw #1660898039 on April 30, 2009
Some bitch was wearing my jacket in the subway, does this mean that H and M sold more than one of them?!?!
— R_Claw #1653295882 on April 29, 2009
Weather's nice, however lunch was a total disappointment. And this is a boring Twat.
— R_Claw #1535852812 on April 16, 2009
In what universe is it ok for you to publicly announce you wish you were in bed with your ex?!?! Fuck you, the end.
— R_Claw #1493873110 on April 10, 2009
