@MorganDupree The rich girl down the street had a Teddy Ruxpin. That bitch!
— CalliCoop #10354185309 1 week ago
I'm feeling like shit; crampy with a backache, so I called my midwife with the good news.
— CalliCoop #10203924238 2 weeks ago
Almost two hours into this bitch-fest, and there's no slowing down. People that think asperger's is mild or easy don't live here.
— CalliCoop #9561854956 3 weeks ago
Everyone's excited about pie, but they have to eat the salad and hard boiled egg to get it. Ha ha ha! I'm *that* bitch!
— CalliCoop #8659251944 on February 4, 2010
All three local hospitals are "in network" for our insurance. If me feeling like shit means baby's coming early, we'll be ready.
— CalliCoop #8221066758 on January 25, 2010
Too short bangs from the new girl at Supercuts. No big deal except I have to deal with my eyebrows now. I'm fucked.
— CalliCoop #8132026366 on January 23, 2010
Three able bodied adults to do what I usually do alone, and hubby still calls me out to help. FUCK!!!
— CalliCoop #7927113454 on January 18, 2010
Cooper says, "Shit!" Clio says, "Bitch!" Thanks to ASD big sissy. Someone save us!!!
— CalliCoop #7463149098 on January 6, 2010
@inquisitrix Too funny. I watch the intervention because they are slightly more fucked up than my family. Missing it tonight, no tv!
— CalliCoop #7393873319 on January 4, 2010
How many months of fucking up laundry will it take before my husband gets it right? He's on 2 months now, taking guesses.
— CalliCoop #7146307824 on December 28, 2009
CVS fucked up our prescription, and the doctor has to fix it for them on Monday. Piss on CVS!
— CalliCoop #5306357321 on October 30, 2009
Brandon from Social Security talks lots when he could just say, 'Suck it, bitch!' and accomplish the same goal.
— CalliCoop #4996021080 on October 19, 2009
@discotrash I've read that if they were handled often when young, they like being held, like hamsters. But there is always a bitch attitude.
— CalliCoop #3868711408 on September 9, 2009
Sorry, that was me again. RT @benmarvin: Oh baby, I love it when you knock over shit with yo big ass titties. -#boobstoobig
— CalliCoop #1666059898 on April 30, 2009
RT @benmarvin: Oh baby, I love it when you knock over shit with yo big ass titties. -#boobstoobig
— CalliCoop #1666055515 on April 30, 2009
Facebook is now worthless, bitch sister in law has sent a friend request. I think I'm ignoring it, like really, not pushing any button.
— CalliCoop #1664591896 on April 30, 2009
It is shocking to DM someone that I'm had a mutual follow with since starting Twitter only to find she isn't following. My reaction? BITCH!!
— CalliCoop #1664346707 on April 30, 2009
'Cocksucker!' 'Not that there's anything wrong with that.'
— CalliCoop #1650598223 on April 29, 2009
That sign 'No Dogs Allowed' might mean kids at the park don't want to play with dog shit.
— CalliCoop #1643805468 on April 28, 2009
FTW: fuck the world, for the win, fun time wheezer, fuzzy trolls wobble, fumes to waft, ferrets time wasters, Fred teases Wilma
— CalliCoop #1639615876 on April 28, 2009
@melyssa It's true, but they are a big money maker, so they advertise. Americans eat that shit up!
— CalliCoop #1636679246 on April 28, 2009
It took a fucking year, but the drug house across the street is being raided! Woo hoo!!!
— CalliCoop #1605319755 on April 24, 2009
RT @bsandusky: Hmm, will I get more or less followers if I tell everyone to fuck off? Just askin'.
— CalliCoop #1586031290 on April 22, 2009
I just read on the fucking Facebook about a process and packaged HFCS dessert for Earth Day. Um, I'll be in my garden digging with kids.
— CalliCoop #1577810339 on April 21, 2009
Ways to tell you are in for a shit day: asleep at 1am, awake at 5am, kids up at 6:15 am. I may try that coffee I keep hearing about.
— CalliCoop #1574888615 on April 21, 2009
Fuck! It's still hot!
— CalliCoop #1572463862 on April 20, 2009
Today is looking like a shit basket.
— CalliCoop #1566524070 on April 20, 2009
@phyllisstein Really? No drugs? I want the fucking happy pills like yesterday!
— CalliCoop #1564006981 on April 20, 2009
The depression still hangs over me, but I don't cry everyday. I just want o be happy about baby being 1, but they fucked it all up.
— CalliCoop #1563926094 on April 20, 2009
Penguins and Puffles? Oh shit!
— CalliCoop #1561390798 on April 19, 2009
@submom Yesterday I was pretty fucked up. Today is good for me so far.
— CalliCoop #1550775957 on April 18, 2009
I thought I was being all sexy going to bed without my bra and nursing pads, but I woke up and 'fuck' I have to change sheets.
— CalliCoop #1542625912 on April 17, 2009
This is why I love this girl! RT @Somecitygirl: The doodlebops need to eat shit and die.
— CalliCoop #1535083007 on April 16, 2009
I have been scolded for calling my preteen 'bitch on wheels' only by people that haven't seen her rolling! #isthismylife
— CalliCoop #1517433818 on April 14, 2009
FRB is in bed. I'm up with dishes, laundry, toy pick up, table cleaning, and high chair cleaning. Fucking Rat Bastard!
— CalliCoop #1514488527 on April 13, 2009
I wish it were something nice, @JeeNeeBee! FRB is my Fucking Rat Bastard husband. He's okay sometimes.
— CalliCoop #1514240684 on April 13, 2009
Fucking Rat Bastard tells me, "I think I'm going to be lazy tonight"+is on couch. Tomorrow night, black eyed peas for dinner! #goodbyeearl
— CalliCoop #1514225665 on April 13, 2009
RT @HotJane: I love days like this: RT @OMGitsJessieLee: my god, my boobs are fucking huge today. ;) #boobstoobig
— CalliCoop #1511335766 on April 13, 2009
Fucking Rat Bastard was so busy working in the yard and inside yesterday, that I think I have to call him something nice for a bit. Sweetie?
— CalliCoop #1508906709 on April 13, 2009
I peeked out to check the weather, and it is dark. FUCK!
— CalliCoop #1508839139 on April 13, 2009
Oh shit! @FertilityCare is going to help me become fertile!
— CalliCoop #1501686850 on April 12, 2009
Why does the Fucking Rat Bastard do stupid stuff when he knows I'm going to tweet about it?
— CalliCoop #1488294091 on April 9, 2009
Daddy wanted drive through for breakfast to be quick. Between finding a place and fixing a fucked up order, it's been an hour.
— CalliCoop #1451854539 on April 4, 2009
I spend the extra nickel and get the 'fork split' English muffins. My husband still dirties a knife to cut them open. Fucking Rat Bastard!!!
— CalliCoop #1418270609 on March 30, 2009
Last fucking tortilla is rolled and cooked! Damn! I'm going to bed.
— CalliCoop #1393064634 on March 26, 2009
@TBLeek Fuck, itsn't it alwaqys the heer leadre?
— CalliCoop #1369458540 on March 22, 2009
RT @SammmySosa: im a boy with juicy lips, i dont give a fuck if i aint got tits
— CalliCoop #1352762104 on March 18, 2009
RT @smuttysteff: Fuck the Pope. Fuck the Church. Wear condoms. It’s the new rebellion. And it’ll save your life.
— CalliCoop #1352469585 on March 18, 2009
'I think I'm past my wayward sex fag hag test fuck phase.'
— CalliCoop #1344364474 on March 17, 2009
