Just been asked to go on the radio at 8:05 on Friday morning to advertise the gig I'm doing of Friday night in Liverpool. 8:0-fucking-5am!
— BethanyBlack #5779389633 4 days ago
@SeanHavoc ah, I'm now starting to be pissed off with living in the city centre, Costs to much and everything's shit.
— BethanyBlack #5628618020 1 week ago
just got back from the longest gig ever, 2 30 minute sets, plus a good 30-40 of compereing plus raffle. I'm fucking knackered!
— BethanyBlack #5520736810 2 weeks ago
"I'm all ears, I'm Andrew fucking Marr!"
— BethanyBlack #5505505012 2 weeks ago
there's a certain mr C. Lunge who's been on the receiving end of my ire today, appropriate that his name's a euphamism for cunt.
— BethanyBlack #5321899924 3 weeks ago
"Have you ever Googled your own name? It's like opening a door to a room where everyone tells you how shit you are." nearly shit laughing.
— BethanyBlack #5268811619 3 weeks ago
Some good news in amongst all the shit and the bills, :)
— BethanyBlack #5199026682 on October 27, 2009
If you still think the world's shit then we can move to plan C all of us thinking that rather than no God there's definitely some God.
— BethanyBlack #5019665188 on October 20, 2009
I was worried I might be asexual, but now I couldn't give a fuck.
— BethanyBlack #5016960656 on October 20, 2009
#gigreport my purple patch gigs wise doesn't seem to be stopping, I've tried to jinx myself so I'll have a shit one when it doesn't matter.
— BethanyBlack #4977888462 on October 18, 2009
Ah fuck it I'm off to play Fallout 3 for a bit. today was a washout.
— BethanyBlack #4865147860 on October 14, 2009
@christinamartin Cheers :) I get fed up of seeing the sort of shit my sister goes through with my newphews, I'm on the battle lines with you
— BethanyBlack #4782656673 on October 11, 2009
@SusanCalman fuck 'em, people are cunts except the nice ones and they're secretly cunts too. You however princess are loveliness personified
— BethanyBlack #4731740478 on October 9, 2009
turns out when I use the word cunt in a tweet it gets rid of followers, which is good as the ones who are offended are obviously cunts.
— BethanyBlack #4686644306 on October 7, 2009
@someecards weirdest truth that led to sex: Sorry I was so long, I shit myself and had to clean the bottom half of me.
— BethanyBlack #4477469679 on September 29, 2009
As I still can't see for shit I'm not at XS Malarkey's 12th Birthday party :( Wish I could drive safely.
— BethanyBlack #4477208725 on September 29, 2009
@jayirichardson that kicks the shit out of the Express with "can Ant Anally match Dec?" from the other week
— BethanyBlack #4343063085 on September 24, 2009
@Jason_Manford I'd not pay £20 to watch a grumpy fucker do a sound tech, even if he is the best in Manchester
— BethanyBlack #4342529241 on September 24, 2009
"If there's one thing I hate it's failure, if there's two things I hate It's failure and cancer." - Kenny "Fucking" Powers
— BethanyBlack #4150261927 on September 21, 2009
1000th tweet from me, best not fuck it up with a fatuous and boring ill thought out and ill punctuated sentence about nothing in particular.
— BethanyBlack #4018053370 on September 15, 2009
the reason? They refuse to remove my phone number from their website, so let's crash the fucker.
— BethanyBlack #4002444824 on September 15, 2009
home finally! 6 fucking hours on a train with screaming children nearby, muffin ground into the seat and surrounded by idiots, never again..
— BethanyBlack #3677640371 on August 31, 2009
Going to do my show in a bit, hopefully I'll not have mental drunks fucking up the show tonight before I've even made it to the microphone.
— BethanyBlack #3564170317 on August 26, 2009
Who in the sweet bearded fuck thought 10am was an appropriate time to interview me? This may be one of my angrier interviews.
— BethanyBlack #3509269607 on August 24, 2009
#gigreport fucking embarrassing, 8 people in on a friday. I feel like my production team don't give a fuck about my show. Angry as hell.
— BethanyBlack #3462376733 on August 21, 2009
getting ready to rock another fucking show full of the finest motherfuckers Edinburgh has to offer. (Small audiences a speciality)
— BethanyBlack #3456854189 on August 21, 2009
@CarlDonnelly I'd started feeling really shit about it, and then realised I've got an hour I've already paid for, so I can do what I want :)
— BethanyBlack #3432989901 on August 20, 2009
@SarahMillican75 Yeah, fuck 'em one man's press is another man's chip paper! You fucking rock the socks off the joint every night xXx
— BethanyBlack #3245367392 on August 11, 2009
@jasonmarkcook Fucking Ace! One of my favourite pieces ever, I've got the Soulwax remix of Muscle Museum and Pink - Sober for the finale.
— BethanyBlack #3135809970 on August 4, 2009
@SarahMillican75 fucking hell that's a bargain, I've paid £12 to reverse all the way to Edinburgh.
— BethanyBlack #3103821030 on August 3, 2009
just been asked to introduce the Vagina Monologues this evening, Might start with "what a cunt" and see how we go from there.
— BethanyBlack #3085560359 on August 2, 2009
@jamiekilstein We can share notes :) this one when I called said "you're the gay bloke right?" What a cunt.
— BethanyBlack #3085213994 on August 2, 2009
@justinmoorhouse Fucking Hell Moorhouse looks like you make one tasty crumble!
— BethanyBlack #3072465722 on August 1, 2009
#gigreport Utter hell. I've been working like a lady-bastard all evening, 2 hours MCing then ed preview at a music festival. v tired now.
— BethanyBlack #3061619640 on July 31, 2009
@SusanCalman I'd like to see that, you sniffing out drugs and guiding blind people round, that'd be fucking mint!
— BethanyBlack #2949126130 on July 31, 2009
bruching my teeth with new toothpaste - fuck me backwards it's harsh.
— BethanyBlack #2744872687 on July 20, 2009
bought the Harry Potter Boxed set from HMV going to watch them all and then go and see the new one. The Mrs' little sister's cool as fuck.
— BethanyBlack #2723030464 on July 19, 2009
#gigreport mcing - Ian Cognito cancelled and there was some fuck up so no headliner - I stepped in and did my preview and got both fees :D
— BethanyBlack #2704724267 on July 18, 2009
@Jason_Manford @owenniblock I got listed on the Glastonbury website as "worst act ever to play the festival" last year fuck 'em
— BethanyBlack #2613667569 on July 13, 2009
@SarahMillican75 Fucking hell that's a lot of previews, I've done 4 of 10 and I've started offering to do them in people's houses.
— BethanyBlack #2505995207 on July 6, 2009
No Daphne and Celeste on Spotify? What the cock is that shit?
— BethanyBlack #2385541937 on June 29, 2009
what the fuck is "oxygen absorber" and what was it doing in my tin of wasabi peas?
— BethanyBlack #2348186298 on June 26, 2009
back from the park - that was a fucking big picnic, it involved two parks and a barbecue - off to my sister's now.
— BethanyBlack #2332213604 on June 25, 2009
@Glinner I fucking need on of those.
— BethanyBlack #2168170162 on June 14, 2009
Out with a Bitch Called Noodle- she's a motherfuckin' poodle #badraplyics
— BethanyBlack #2168036500 on June 14, 2009
"go and find you a white crayon and colour a fucking Zebra" Eminem plays a blinder lyrics wise on Relapse :)
— BethanyBlack #2134315125 on June 12, 2009
cocopops with chocolate milk - Decadent as fuck.
— BethanyBlack #2129111621 on June 12, 2009
OK written the sketch, it's funny as fuck - this one I'm sure will win some kind of award for being the funnest sketch ever or something.
— BethanyBlack #2123176138 on June 11, 2009
I've started shouting "Lesbian!" at straight men from my car window, see how they fucking like it.
— BethanyBlack #2104322278 on June 10, 2009
